Current Weight: haven’t weighed since last time – maybe 68 kg
I barely interacted with society this week. Ended up staying at home most days and nights, but I did go out on a bar crawl on wednesday. That didn’t go well. I had about 7 pints total and then had 2 shots (idk the name, but they have absinthe in them). My friend had to Uber me home, and I was apparently an absolute state. I seriously need to stop getting so fucked.
That wednesday morning I went to the doctor, sorted out my prescriptions, and obtained a prescription for sertraline. I started taking them on friday morning so today will be day 3. My biggest fear is the weight gain side effect, but they can also make you lose appetite so maybe I’ll be ok? I need to stop drinking though, as I’ve drank both of the first two nights. I haven’t really felt anything unusual yet, but they take at least 2 weeks to affect you.
It’s day 2 of a 2-day tournament I’m refereeing, and I’m feeling like absolute shit. Like, I’ve barely slept recently, I feel gross and fat, and the alcohol hasn’t helped. Yesterday I had a really weird panic attack sort of experience whilst walking back from the pub to my accomodation – I hadn’t had alcohol at this point, but I’d had a whole pizza, it was cold, I’m on new meds and I was exhausted so like it could just be something like that. Regardless, I feel as though I’m coming down with some sort of cold, and I really hope I do. I have a month to lose at least 13 kg.
Training for my pole dance recital starts this week, and it will really help me lose those kilos. I want the revenge body. I want the people from back there to see how much better I am without them. I want them to regret ever hurting me. I will be skinny, I will be perfect.
I’ll be back sooner this time, I hope. A x
“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
